Saturday, March 24, 2007

习惯了一个人的习惯


惯了一个人的日子.
一个人的日子
有很多收集泪水的时光.
无数次颓废和徘徊,
直到可以直接落在另一个人的肩膀......

习惯了一个人的夕阳.
虽然一个人的夕阳难免有点孤独和忧伤,
可是那火红的霞光却时常让人涌起莫名的感动.
那份热泪盈眶得心情直到有另一个人的分享......

习惯了一个人的想象
虽然一个人的想象难免不切实际
难免充满忧伤
但我仍坚持这样的想象
直到有个人走进我的梦想

习惯了一个人吃一个梨.
也许有时间会吃不掉,
可是还是信守着那个传说:分梨=分离
恐惧着离别得无奈和痛苦.
相信有一天会有另一个人的出现,
一个与我一样相信这个传说的人......

习惯了一个人仰望天空.
这样的钢筋水泥让人约束得窒息.
这样的文明远没有田野里的原始让人亲切得舒服.
也许是我固执得缘故,
没有家的归属,
一个不完整的天空......
完美的天空需要另一个人的补充,一片加一片

习惯了一个人的舞台.
一个人的舞台虽然是那样的空旷,
可是却有着足够的空间来让我表演.
慢慢得,我由兴奋不已而感到无趣.
原来再好的演员也需要热情的观众.
于是,一个小小的心愿在心底油然升起.
快来一位观众啊~一名就好~

习惯了一个人看雨.
一个人看雨真的很有哲理.
雨水先是一滴一滴,
渐渐得一条一条,
最后一片一片......
雨和人一样的.
人起先也是一个一个的,
到了后来有了自己的小家,
再到后来就有了一个大家庭.
现在的你是一滴,一条还是一片呢?

习惯了一个人玩骰盅.
人生何尝不是一场赌博?
和命运赌,我们永远是个失败者.
和生命赌,我们注定就是个天生的输家.
这些其实我都不在乎.
其实最关心的是:
和爱情赌,会是个什么结局.....

习惯了一个人读月.
其实月亮也有很多烦恼的心思.
我们互相倾诉彼此的心境.
它总是默默地问我:
为什么你总是独自一人?
我说:我有影子陪我!
它笑了:为什么另一个人也总是这样说?

习惯了一个人的远行.
没有牵挂,没有方向.
随着年轻狂想而释放自我的彷徨.
一个人的旅途并不是没有诗情画意,
当然......
两个人的世界会更精彩

习惯一个人的音乐.
一个人的音乐是心灵最深处地呻吟.
也许只有自己才听得懂,
可是却依然希望把未来的世界来打动.
音符里是一份含泪的沧桑,无限的困惑,痴迷的绝望......
相信吧.总会有一个人来听你的绝唱!

习惯了……一个人的习惯

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Lives of Others <别人的生活>

Nothing is Private
Nothing is Sacred

If something is banned in China, it must be great! Quality proofed by Beijing. Just like "Notes on Tibet" by Woeser is a brilliant book but it offically banned, and because of that she also lost her job. “The Lives of Others”, is kind of officially banned film in China, plus a friend highly recommends this movie. So, I have no reason to reject the best film.

Have no regrets, after a watched this fantastic movie. At once a political thriller and human drama, The Lives of Others begins in East Berlin in 1984, five years before Glasnost and the fall of the Berlin Wall and ultimately takes us to 1991, in what is now the reunited Germany. The film traces the gradual disillusionment of Captain Gerd Wiesler, a highly skilled officer who works for the Stasi, East Germany's all-powerful secret police.

In deed, I felt this story somehow is just happening around me. Why a banned film in China created so many reactions from public, especially among artists and academics. People keep saying, for our life we have to watch "the lives of others". And, to me this is really a reflection of situation in TAR so I felt strong about it. Moreover, this film also gives a message of hope and a message of beauty to those people who live under repression and under monitor.

The Lives of Others, 《窃听风暴》或《别人的生活》,我自己更偏爱《别人的生活》这样的片名。毕竟现在从中国,英国到美国没有哪个不以“国家安全”National Security 的名义在干预别人的生活。为了国家、为了你我的安全,当“国家”到处安置摄像头、增加国家安全预算,我们并没有觉得自己生活的空间安全了,反而更加恐惧、更加不安。

Review from Chinese audience:

对人性的提纯

中共的窃听技术和手段,早在上世纪四十年代就相当先进。由江苏人民出版社出版的《西安事变新探──张学良与中共关系之谜》(杨奎松著)中就有描述。书中说,毛泽东对长期坚守陕北根据地表示乐观的理由之一,就是“红军窃听电话和破译电报工作相当成功,对于敌人军事行动部署几乎了如指掌”。

后柏林墙与后天安门

研究自由主义与中国宪政民主转型的成都大学法学讲师王怡看了《窃听风暴》后说,“我几乎爱上了这部电影”,“这部电影给世界一个机会,尤其是给中国人”。

他说,东德国安部监控了1800万人中的600万,线民人数接近全部人口的十分之一,柏林墙竖起的近30年间,平均每天就有8人以“破坏国家安全”的罪名被捕。

他说,德国统一后,国安部的全部窃听档案,开放给所有公民查阅。这些监控资料一本本铺开,足有1000公里长,无数人发现自己的同事、朋友、律师和医生都是国安部的告密者,整个社会以极大勇气,承受前所未有的道德打击。

1989年的柏林墙和天安门,影片导演是“后柏林墙”一代,而他则是“后天安门”一代。他说:“我能体会一个‘后柏林墙’时代的青年导演,能拍出那样椎心刺骨的创伤。”

中国缺乏这类影片

凭借电影《世界上最疼我的那个人去了》和《我们俩》获得多项电影节大奖的35岁新锐女导演马俪文看完电影《窃听风暴》后的最大感受是,影片“沉静”地表达给她留下深刻印象。该片不仅有大的历史背景,还关注着个人的命运,并伴随着冷静的思考。中国缺乏这种类型的影片。

中国电视剧四大最卖座导演之一、《东京审判》导演高群书说,《窃听风暴》风格简约,表现手法真实,令他十分欣赏。他说:“生活对人来说不是绝望,而是充满了希望。这部影片是对人性的提纯。”他认为,《窃听风暴》有监视、有特工,但更主要的是表现普通的日常生活,拍出了一波三折的戏剧性,同时还有奇特的温情。
《联合早报》

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Foreign blog providers blocked

China's Net Nanny is having some kind of emotional issue: in the last few weeks, Livejournal, Xanga, and Blogspot have all been blocked.

The Nanny has been playing a game with Blogspot for sometime now. It was first blocked in 2004. Here are three subsequent Danwei posts:

Blogspot working in Beijing again November 23, 2006
Blogspot blocked again October 27, 2006
Blogspot unblocked August 9, 2006

Thanks to Shaan, Bibby and K for the tips
Posted by Jeremy Goldkorn, March 20, 2007 07:37 PM

something wrong 郁闷


... What Went Wrong? ...

Damned, I have no clue what went wrong with my blog. Since yesterday I cannot post, I cannot view my blog as well as others. It’s painful to use other services to write blog.

Monday, March 19, 2007

西藏的绘画,今天的含义by 唯色

之一:更敦群培画廊  

“我无法理解今天的含义”,这是译成中文的曼德尔施塔姆诗句。不知何故,最初,在一个烈日燃烧的下午,在帕廓北街与东街的交汇处,那个与经幡缠绕的甘丹塔钦咫尺相隔的画廊,不同于拉萨众多的商业画廊的标志似乎是它的名字:“更敦群培”(西藏近代伟大的人文主义者,也是一位佛门奇僧),被吸引的我因此走入蓦然清凉许多的石头房子里,见粗糙的白墙上挂着一幅幅布画,有些画令我格外心动,而心动的原因,似乎就是这诗句:“我无法理解今天的含义”,似乎正是这些画传达给我的感受,不知何故。

那个下午,直至盘桓许久离开之时,才瞥见一个很像是帕廓一带的西藏女子披着湿漉漉的长发匆匆进屋,像是画廊的工作人员,竟再也不见他人,这倒也使得我悄悄拍了几张我喜爱的画,抱歉,我知道这是不允许的。后来在网上看到“更敦群培画廊”(http://www.asianart.com/exhibitions/gendun/),真是开心。这下我可以很从容地徜徉在网络画廊里,挑选我偏爱的画,下载,放在专门的文件夹里,甚至可以放在我的博客上,变成我的“公告”。呵呵,在画家不知悉的情况下如此擅为,还望多多原谅。

网友密如仔的评说是:“每到拉萨我最喜欢去的地方就是‘更敦群培画廊’。穿过帕廓街密集的商摊,走进这个由几个年轻藏族画家自筹自办的画廊时,拉萨给予我的那种沉溺堕落的感觉一下子融化在这些充满生命的绘画里……再过几十年几百年之后,当人们想了解这个古城的这段坎坷岁月时,他们一定能从这些藏族画家的作品中感受到我们的喜和悲,我们的渴求和挫折。”

朋友Susan看到我的博客里的“公告”变成了一个骑自行车的藏女(她的身后是一架笨拙的飞机闯入云端,还是一条肥硕的白鱼在天上飞啊飞?嘿嘿,穿着藏袍的她,竟然骑的是男式的自行车!让我想起前几年,那些被叫做“阿西”的康巴女子,浑身挂满向游客兜售的鲜艳首饰,就骑着这样的男式、老式自行车,勇猛地飞驰在拉萨的大街上!如今似乎很少见到了),给我发来电子邮件说:“除了觉康(大昭寺),画廊是我在拉萨的第二个家呢。去时,有时和看家的画家聊天,有时他们看影碟(特别是念扎和宗德,总是迷得不得了),我看画。更多时就一人坐在群画之间,让我所有的一点点西藏历史知识在心上反复。”说到一群藏人围坐着看电视的那张画,她说:“还有一张色调更暗,观众表情更专注的”,是“同一主题,同一构图”,但“去年夏天再去,那张画已经不在画廊了。据念扎自己说,画已经被美国的一家画廊永久典藏了。为他高兴!我自己特别珍爱念扎作品中人物脸部喜悦的表情———不管他们在看电视或骑单车。画面中的那一刻,似乎传达了画家对藏族的无限同情”。

而我呢?是不是还会继续重复曼德尔施塔姆的诗句呢?当然,当然。


之二:念扎的画 



念扎是拉萨人。远远的,看着他走来时,他的年轻和他的痼疾令人心软。

念扎画的人物,以前一眼看得出是藏族人,现在不太看得出是藏族人。看来他是故意的,故意不想让自己画的人,那么容易被看出是藏族人。所以他开始画坠落的女子,画坠落中还在吹气球(那气球太鲜艳了)的女子,在似乎缓慢的坠落中面带微笑或者十分安详,但已经没有了过去的画中,那些一眼就能分辨的西藏符号:藏式的服装,藏式的发型,藏式的首饰,甚至普通藏族人的吐舌习俗(哪怕他画的吐舌带有戏谑的意味)。看来念扎要抹掉那些西藏的符号,他不需要,因为他本身就是。但在他的画里,我再一次看见了“灵魂碎片的飞扬”,这于我心有戚戚。

有意思的是,即使如今他在画这些似乎模糊了外在身份的人物时,在我的眼中,他的画还是把他变成了一个西藏画家。无论是穿上藏装也罢,不穿上藏装也罢,画中人是这样地与西藏的任何一个女子相像无比,不禁令我在他的画前久久驻留。需要补充:这种相像并不是外表的相像。比如就我自己而言,我长成了这样,我穿成了这样,我一开口就把汉话说成了这样,把我错认成汉族人乃是常有的事情,然而,我是吗?我是吗?呵呵,我们都是藏族人,这个身份藏在我们的心里。而我这么说,并不意味着宣布我是一个民族主义者,我只是在确认我自己的身份,如此而已。

把自己的画挂在帕廓某个拐角处,把自己这个人安顿在策墨林某个院落里……我热切地想看他的画,或许只是因为他的画让我感受到画中人一样的迷茫,而在此时,我又多了一层发现———是的,我发现了画中人的某种缺失,某种挫败,跟我一样。当然念扎的画也有个人的趣味,比如他的画会在不经意间再现日常生活的细节,就像那个骑自行车的康巴女子,露出的裤管竟然是镶边的红色运动裤,还有一双回力球鞋!我的确迷恋这样的细节。但这样的细节,似乎出现在他比较早期的画中,而今,他最多会把从高空中下坠的女子,在看似很惬意的缓慢下坠时,这片作为辽阔背景的大地,嗯,怎么类比呢?就像是飞机在不慌不忙地掠过青藏高原的上空时,几乎鼻子贴近舷窗往下俯视,恰恰正是念扎画中的群山在连绵起伏,间杂着星星点点乃至几乎隐而不见的西藏房屋。

当另外一些人,非要借助西藏(比如有个曾经在西藏多年的汉族画家,最近的行为艺术作品是:把@这个符号涂在西藏的嘛尼石上和经幡上)或者把某个场景西藏化,把某个人物更加地西藏化……这个画画的人,念扎,他却在放弃,在减少,犹如回到家中跟家人在一起,用不着刻意和修饰。

Dharamsala Alarmed at the rate Chinese Migrants Coming to Tibet

Reaffirms Commitment to the Middle-Way Approach

Central Tibetan Administration is deeply concerned at the acceleratingChinese immigration to Tibet, and intensified mineral exploitation.

"We cannot but be alarmed at the rate of Chinese migrant workers coming to Tibet and China's mining of various minerals on the Tibetan Plateau" said Kalon Tempa Tsering of the Department of Information and International Relations of the Central Tibetan Administration."

The pace of China's settlement of Tibet's urban centres with Chinese migrant workers and its exploitation of Tibet's mineral resources are undermining the ability of the Tibetan people to hold on to their distinct cultural heritage," Kalon Tempa Tsering said.

Kalon Tempa Tsering said, "It is precisely for this reason that we are firmly committed to the Middle-Way Approach of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, which will allow Tibetans to have an effective say in their affairs and the allocations of their resources without undermining Chinese sovereignty."

Kalon Tempa Tsering is reacting to news reports that say China is involved in mining of a host of minerals in Tibet and the unloading of thousands of Chinese migrant workers to Lhasa on a daily basis.There are two kinds of one-way traffic on the rail line, both harmful to Tibet. Coming in on one-way tickets, costing as little as $49 to come all the way from Beijing, are fortune seekers, often desperately poor, those displaced from the countryside by China' voracious demand for urban construction land.

Our sources on the ground estimate that the train to Lhasa, operational since July 2006, brings five or six thousand people a day to Lhasa, but when one observes the trains leaving Lhasa for China only two or three thousand people are aboard. They are the genuine tourists. The stayers are fortune hunters, seeking any niche they can find, often by elbowing aside Tibetans from even small street stall trading.

In 1950, the population of Lhasa, despite its spiritual importance to Tibetans, was only 20,000. Today, due to massive immigration attracted by China' overnment led urban construction boom, the population has swollen to nearly 300,000, occupying almost all the valley. Now there are reports that China target for Lhasa is a population of 700,000. Based on our observations of the train occupancy in and out of Lhasa, that target will be reached very quickly.

Kalon Tempa Tsering said, "The Tibetan Plateau cannot sustain such a population explosion. Already the Tibetans in Lhasa are a small quarter of the city, excluded from the construction boom all around them. We oppose all development project that does not benefit but marginalises Tibetan population socially and culturally."

Poor Tibetans live in shantytowns on the outskirts, seeking employment, only to be muscled aside by non-Tibetan immigrants who contribute nothing to the Tibetan economy, because they remit their savings to their home province.

The other equally alarming aspect of the one-way traffic is the export of minerals from Tibet to feed Chinese factories, said Kalon Tempa Tsering.

When the railway was first extended into Tibet in the 1980s, as far as the desert staging post of Gormo, the purpose was to extract Tibetan oil, which has gone, at rate of two million tons a year for the past 20 years. In addition China mines the salt lakes of the same area in the Tsaidam Basin on a large scale. Gas was discovered in huge amounts in the 1990s, also in theTsaidam Basin, and a pipeline was built to supply China hungry energy demand for fuels for manufacturing and electric power generation. Tibetan gas is now piped right across China.

China is investing huge effort of geological exploration, mapping mineral deposits all over Tibet. Recently the China geological survey announced the discovery of more than 600 new mineral deposits after concluding a seven-year geological study on Tibetan plateau, which has nothing less than $128 billion dollars worth of various minerals potential for extraction.

The biggest concern lies with two minerals: copper and chromite, particularly the major reserves currently under development and are easily accessible. For example: Shetongmon, close to Shigatse, the second city of Tibet, and the chromite deposits at Norbusa, close to the town of Tsethang and the chromite at Dongchao (Ch:Dongqiao), close to the rail line at the village called Draknak (Amdo County) in Nagchu Prefecture. In all three cases, the railway makes possible large-scale extraction, as each deposit is close to the railway, or to its proposed short extensions.

Yulong Copper mine, which is known to have world class potential, located in Chunyido village in Chamdo prefecture has remained undeveloped due to remoteness but infrastructure necessary for mining is now reportedly close to completion. Chromite mine in Dongchao, was also closed because of remoteness but now it is no longer remote due to railway, and it could re-open on a much bigger scale. Both copper and chromite are vital to China's development and industrialisation, but as a raw material are in very short supply. China has relied heavily on imports for these minerals for the past few decades.

Of the many mineral deposits found so far, few have been developed into full-scale commercial operations, largely because of the high transport costs of trucking ores out of Tibet on unreliable highways. It is further exacerbated by harsh climatic condition that forces the mine to remainclosed during the winter.

The arrival of the railway to Lhasa dramatically changes the economics of mineral exploitation, especially since it is not only the cost of a ticket to Lhasa that is subsidised; a freight subsidy also enables miners to send minerals out of Tibet for as little as US 1.5 cents per ton per kilometre.

Most of the Tibet's copper, including Yulong deposit is of prophyry type. Mines like these have to be large scale, extracting hundreds of tons of rocks per day in order to produce a profitable amount of processed or refined copper each year. The resulting need in all types of mine to dispose of large quantities of waste could severly impact the environment. Soil erosion, loss of biodiversity, grassland degradation and pollution of watercourses are some of the potential impacts of the mining. Mining waste contaminates the water bodies often leading to substantial reductions in water quality affecting the people living downstream and destroying aquaticecosystem. Tibet is the principal source of rivers flowing in Asia upon which 47% of world's total population depends for their livelihood.

Besides as has often been the case, local Tibetans displaced by the mine receive almost nothing for their compensation, and the skilled jobs invariably go to non-Tibetan immigrants. Chinese discrimination against Tibetans and increasing settlement of Chinese workers in Tibet with railway already in operation would not only transform Lhasa and other towns in Tibet but also will create new distinctly Chinese towns and villages just as it happened in Gormo which serves as a model of concern. This is the beginning of Chinese colonialism. Gormo, once desert area inhabited by few scattered nomads has now grown to a large town with 200,000 populations according to 2000 census out of which less than two per cent are Tibetan. It was initially established as prison farm and resource extraction site but since the arrival of railway, immigration and development has created a distinctly Chinese settlement.
March 15, 2007

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Suu Kyi 诗二首


Free bird towards a free Burma
By Daw Aung San Suu Kyi

My home...
where I was born and raised
used to be warm and lovely
now filled with darkness and horror.

My family...
whom I had grown with
used to be cheerful and lively
now living with fear and terror.

My friends...
whom I shared my life withu
sed to be pure and merry
now living with wounded heart.

A free bird...
which is just freed
used to be caged
now flying with an olive branch
for the place it loves.

A free bird towards a Free Burma.

飞向自由缅甸的自由鸟
作者:昂山素季

我的家......
生我养我
曾经是那么充满温暖和爱
如今充满黑暗与恐怖

我的亲人...…
曾经伴我长大
充满生机与愉快
如今生活在畏惧与恐惧中

我的朋友.....
与我同甘共苦
曾经单纯快乐
如今心灵破碎

一只自由鸟......
刚刚获得了自由
曾经囚于牢笼
如今飞翔橄榄树丛

选择心爱的地方

飞向它向往的方向

自由鸟飞向自由的缅甸


Why do I have to fight???
By Daw Aung San Suu Kyi

They killed my father a year ago,
And they burnt my hut after that
I asked the city men "why me?" they ignored
"I don't know, mind your business," the men said.
One day from elementary school I came home,
Saw my sister was lifeless, lying in blood.

I looked around to ask what happened, if somebody'd known,
Found no one but living room as a flood.
Running away by myself on the village road,
Not knowing where to go but heading for my teacher
Realizing she's the only one who could help to clear my throat,
But this time she gave up, telling me strange things in fear.

Why, teacher, why.. why.. why?
I have no dad nor a sister left.
To teach me and to care for me you said, was that a lie?
This time with tearful eyes she, again, said...
"Be a grown one, young man,
Can't you see we all are dying?
And stop this with your might as soon as you can,
For we all are suffering."


我为什么要战斗???
作者:昂山素季

一年前他们杀害了我父亲
又烧毁了我的屋子
我问城里人“为何是我?”

没人理睬
“我不知道,与我无关”, 那人说
上小学时,有一天放学回到家
看到姐姐停止呼吸,倒在血泊中


我到处问人发生了什么事 是否有人知道
无人应答
家像被洪水淹没 乡村路上我一个人独自狂奔
失去方向 当我最终奔向我的老师
以为她是我唯一能够倾诉的人
但这次她什么也没说放弃了,恐惧中告诉我了一些奇怪的事


为什么,老师,为什么,为什么......为什么?
我没有父亲,现在姐姐也走了
您曾告诉会教育我、会关怀我
难道那都是谎言?
这次含着泪,说道......

“你要长大,成人
你看不到我们都即将死去吗?
阻止它,尽快也许你还可以

因为我们都在忍受煎熬。”



I really enjoy reading Suu Kyi's writing, therefore, just translating some of her work for fun. But, really these words are so powerful, and I feel so strong about it.